The Matthew Effect

This idea, the Matthew Effect, has been haunting me.  I want every parent of a struggling reader to LISTEN UP!!   The Matthew Effect in reading was named for the verse in Matthew 25:29 that reads, "For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken even that which he hath."  Essentially, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.


According to the Matthew Effect, first called this by Keith Stanovich, the "rich" are the learners who excel in literacy early on, and the "poor" are those who do not, or the "haves" and the "have nots".  In the very early years, reading assessments will show a small difference in literacy foundations.  Each year, however, the gap in learning will become wider and wider.  Third grade is an essential year for the Matthew Effect.  Educators often call this the last year of "learning to read".  The gap will be significant by this point.  By fourth grade, these students will be considered as "reading to learn".  After the fourth grade year, most of these "have nots" will never be able to catch up.  {{NEVER BE ABLE TO CATCH UP}}.  The thought of a child not ever being able to catch up terrifies me.  This child will become an adult.  This gap will become wider.  This person will feel more and more inferior as the gap gets wider and wider.   What kind of child are we raising when this happens? How "poor" will this child become?


As a teacher, I see the basis of this every single day.  The "rich" beam with pride over their accomplishments.  They rack up points and check off the boxes of achievements.  They attend ice cream parties for their good grades and rack up AR points and incentives along the way.  Their names are displayed in class boasting their achievements.  They get free burgers, personal pizzas, and tokens for games at local restaurants.  They get gold cords at graduation. They have no reason to pat themselves on the back.  They have been applauded abundantly by society.  Their accomplishments are obvious just by walking in the classroom and seeing the rows of stars displayed beside their names.  How very rewarding.  These children will become "richer" and "richer" as they glide along in their euphoria. They read more and more and continue to be encouraged.


Meanwhile, in the far corner of the room {{or sitting right by the teacher}}, there is a child who is getting "poorer" and "poorer" every single day.  This child has been in intervention since pre-k, but the intervention hasn't helped much. This kid hates to read because he will never collect stars by his name. He is called out of class daily to go to Mrs. Daigle's room.  Everyone knows that Mrs. Daigle helps kids who are stupid and can't read.  When he has to read in class, the "rich" sigh and stare at him as he sounds out each word, or they spew the words at him before he has two seconds to sound... them... out. When the teacher asks questions about what he just read, he can't answer.  He worked so hard just reading, that he didn't get any of the meaning.  He forgot he was supposed to remember what he read.  She makes him read it again. It doesn't help. It never helps. During library, he stares at the shelves for 40 minutes.  Any book he can check out and read will look like a baby book.  He wants to read chapter books like the "haves".  He checks out big books and pretends to read them.  Maybe they won't notice that he can't read it.  But they do. He's only earned one star beside his name on the chart, and everyone can see how dumb he is the second they enter the room.  He quit trying to earn AR prizes or incentives because he can't possibly win.  What's the use?  He sits in class and draws while the honor roll students go to the "honor roll party" in the gym each term.


The "have not" struggles all day long.  Since he can't read well, he can't read his science or social studies textbook to answer the assigned questions.  He usually pretends he doesn't care about the assignment....but it's better than saying, "I read it three times, and I'm too dumb to understand it." He reads less and less.  Reading for enjoyment is a thing of the past. When he gets home from school, he is exhausted, but he still has homework.  Seriously.  He has worked so hard all day long, and he has to go home and continue working...for hours.  His parents are tired and work harder than most parents with him each night just so he can pass.  He can't play basketball, and he {{LOVES}} basketball.  He's actually GREAT at basketball.  But, playing any sport takes away from the time he spends studying or finishing homework, so his parents won't let him play.  He works harder than the "honor roll" students.  He has to. He doesn't get stars for his work.  He doesn't get free ice cream, or tokens, or pizza, or anything.  At all. Ever.  He prays to get a C, maybe a B.  He doesn't even consider an A is possible.  He's too dumb.  He NEVER reads a book by choice.  Who has time for that?  Reading is not fun, anyway.


So, the gap increases each year.  After 4th grade, there is very little intervention taking place. School is hard, and it only gets harder as the pace increases and fewer people take the time to slow down for you.  The Matthew Effect can be blamed for students who drop out of school and students who think college is impossible.  Why would anyone CHOOSE more school? 
I don't have a solution for this problem, just a plea.  If your child seems to be reading below grade level in the early elementary years, please do something.  Seek intervention, hire a tutor, do something.  I know you think he will catch up, but chances are, he will not...ever. 


~ACZ


Questions regarding your child?? Want me to write about a specific topic? email me!  adriennezembower@gmail.com

Girls and ADHD (a personal experience)

Statistics will say that more boys than girls are diagnosed with ADHD.  It is true.  Boys are more often diagnosed than girls, but I am not completely convinced this is a male dominant "disorder".  I prefer the term "Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Difference" since these kids are so gifted in so many ways and don't seem to fall under the "disorder" umbrella. (Thank you to my friend Colette for the inspiring term).  Boys are much more obvious in this difference than girls.  Girls, however, more girls than you think, fit the bill.


ADHD, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is often characterized by those children who clearly have trouble focusing, have a high amount of energy, and probably exhibit impulsive behavior.  INATTENTIVE ADD is simply characterized by a lack of focus.  While ADHD fits the very definition of typical boy behavior, it does not fit most girls.  Consequently, the boys who stand out most that have a short attention span can be suggested as ADHD early on.  Their behavior waves the giant red flag. The problem is not lack of focus.  The problem is that the typical child with ADHD focuses on everything and cannot tune anything out. Those with Inattentive ADD, however, do not stand out.  They bother no one...except themselves.  This is my experience:


Shyness
For my daughter, shyness was a big issue.  I am a teacher at her school.  She spoke to NO ONE.  Colleagues would come to me and celebrate one word from her.  I would walk away thinking that it would be another week, month , or year before she would utter another word to them.  She was shy to the point that I felt she was being rude.  I punished her, lectured her, educated her on proper social interaction, and on and on.  She still stood frozen, nostrils flared, head down, at the thought of having to speak.  I later learned that this type of shyness is common in the ADD population.  (The terms ADHD and ADD will be used interchangeably here since the medical community lumps it all under the ADHD umbrella.  They are quite different however.)


School
My daughter is very intelligent.  She had no troubles in school...until 3rd grade.  This is the age where they are expected to be more independent, get their work done as assigned, ....study!  Well, we did.  We studied.  I knew we had to study more than I ever had to with my son who is only a year older in school.  My first red flag was when we started getting back her reading comprehension "cold reads".  These are passages that the child reads for the first time, no teacher intervention, answers questions, and is graded on spot.  EVERY ONE OF THEM WERE FAILING GRADES. F. F. F. I had never seen an F in anything we could study together.  We could not study for these.  Fortunately, I am a reading teacher, so I knew exactly what to do!  I reviewed and reviewed.  We practiced and practiced.  I just knew it would get better because I know how to help kids who struggle with reading. :)












It.did.not.








F.F.F.


Midyear, I decided to share with my husband that I thought she may have ADD.  It runs in my family and his, so all the puzzle pieces were coming together.  Because I am an educator, I was aware of the signs.  He thought I was crazy.  "Abby does NOT have ADHD.  She is as sharp as a tack!" And she is, SO bright.  But intellect and ADD are not related.  At all.  Children with ADD and ADHD could be the smartest people you'd ever meet. They just think differently.  They also have to be taught differently.


Symptoms
Besides the afore mentioned, there have been a few things I noticed as a mom educated in this field and aware of special needs.  Abby NEVER watched a movie all the way through.  She still does not unless we are taking a trip and she is seatbelted to the seat. 


She reads like a champ with all of the inflection she could possibly muster.  Her words sound like a story being told to you. In her early grades, this fluency and inflection fooled her teachers (and her mother) into thinking she comprehended what she was reading.  She was raised by a reading teacher, after all.  She comprehended very little, however. Who knew? 


Finally, at home, this is a child who never completed a chore.  I could never ask her to complete more than one task at a time, no matter how simple.  If I said, "Pick up your socks, shoes, and backpack and put it in your room,", she would run to her room, eventually return, and say, "Wait, what did you want me to do in my room?" I had to break down each task into one-step instructions.  One day, when she was 8,  I asked her to get a ponytail holder, a bobby pin, and the detangling spray. She returned with all three.  The second she came into the living room with all THREE items, she said, "I got all three things! Look!  They're all here!" My son looked on in amazement.  It was such an accomplishment to her!




I realized that day that it was no act.  This was real life.  I started the evaluation paperwork the next day.  She was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed Vyvanse at the lowest dose.  Her difference is mild.  I could deal with her differences at home, but her grades were starting to drop.


She takes Vyvanse now, and in 6th grade, she even notices the difference the medicine makes.  When she asks to take a break from it, I let her.  However, her grades drop and she eventually tells me she needs her medicine. I want this to be her journey and her understanding of her needs.  We speak openly about the fact that she has ADD (along with other loved members of the family including her dad) and the fact that she needs her medicine to focus.  I don't treat it as a difference.  Rather, we see the medicine as something that she needs to be able to learn and focus.  My oldest son needs glasses.  He needs them to learn.  I'm not going to deny him glasses, obviously, so why should I deny her the medicine to focus.  He has a difference in his eyes.  She has a difference in her brain.  Same difference.


My daughter has been the shy kid.  She is intelligent.  She reads like a champ, but she comprehends half of it.  She is very moody at home.  She picks fights with siblings most days.  She talks back to me.  She screams.  She yells. She is stubborn. Her room is a mess. She never completes the chore list without making her own list.  She is complex.  I love her.  I love her carefree nature.  I love her humor.  I love her athleticism. I love how well she follows others' directions.  I love how coachable she is.  I love her...AND....I love her ADD.  it is a part of her, but it is NOT WHO she is!  She is a beautiful child.


if you are concerned about your daughter, contact me.  Comment below.  I may be able to help!

I am A.D.

Spelling is the best!  That's what I tell my students anyway in an effort to brainwash them. I also throw in things like, "The reading comprehension test will be so much fun; I can't wait!" or "Sentences!  Who's ready to write?!" I follow this with clapping and cheering.  I even tell them I'm their favorite teacher.  I think some of them are even falling for that one. SO, instead of a class of moans and groans, I pull out a spelling test and get cheers! 

How do I really feel?  Spelling tests are for the birds.  I am a B-O-R-N speller.  It was always my favorite subject because I rocked at it! I made jaws drop at 8-years-old when I spelled "Atchafalaya ~ A-T-C-H-A-F-A-L-A-Y-A" at my grandparent's house when the adults were all scratching their heads. I (((HEART))) spelling! My brother, however, hated it.  It was the worst part of homework...studying spelling.  Pencils flew, fists slammed, tears erupted.  He is dyslexic.  After years and years and years of typical spelling tests and nights and nights and nights of studying, all of that hard work and all of those tears....he still can't spell.  He can't spell my name.  I am A.D. He's intelligent, a talented song writer, and has a hilarious wit, but he can't spell. No one ever taught him since every teacher who taught him did so in the typical weekly list, memorize, regurgitate format.  It doesn't work. You can't teach a child who struggles with letters and words that the letter "Y" says /y/ as in yarn all through Kindergarten, then teach them when they read that it doesn't always say that.  When it is at the end of a short word, it says /I/ as in fly, but when it is at the end of word with more than one syllable it says /i/ as in party.  We expect them to get this understanding with no explanation whatsoever.  If your school is using a spelling list that is not teaching rules and sounds, you need to find a way to provide that knowledge to them.

I currently teach using the Spalding method which is an Orton Gillingham based method of teaching spelling. This is a phonics based, multisensory approach to teaching.  Project Read and Barton are other popular programs that are OG based among others.  I believe this method is essential to teaching children, especially those with learning disabilities, to spell.  The first year I used the Spalding method, I taught 2nd grade.  I reviewed rules of spelling and phonograms (units of sound) all week.  On Friday, I called out ten words that followed the rules and phonograms.  Students were graded on how well they spelled those words.  They learned.  They applied.  They never studied a spelling list.  There was no spelling list. Now, I teach fourth grade, and I do have a spelling list, but each word has rules and phonograms that are identified and reviewed each week.  There should never be a kid memorizing letters, only sounds that make  up the word.  If you want more help with spelling, see my blog post about spelling. Comment with questions if needed!  I'm happy to help.

~ A.D.

Summer Reading for the Kids that HATE to Read

So your kid doesn't LIKE to read??  Well, welcome to the club.  Even as a reading teacher, I have one kid who reads on his own, and one kid who has never independently read her way through an entire book without my intervention.  It's like pulling teeth and an added stress through the school year and throughout summer with the summer reading assignments.  She also struggles with reading comprehension  due to her attention issues.  Reading is not easy or enjoyable.  It's work.  How do you handle this over the summer?  I have a few ideas based solely on my experience as a mom and teacher.  This is my opinion only, and it is aimed at the 3rd grade and up population.  I also suggest you read my other blog post about reading.  I hope it works.

1.  NEVER let your child know how reluctant YOU are about THEIR assigned reading or anything school related.  You are the most influential person on their outlook on all things in life, especially school, teachers, and learning.  If you dread it, so will they, giving them a negative attitude toward learning for the rest of their lives.  (Remember:  We need successful kids that move out and get a life one day.)

2. Take week #1 of summer off.  Breathe.  Relax. (You should, however, let your reluctant child know when summer reading is expected to begin.)

3.  If your child was assigned summer reading, start there.  Don't spend endless hours searching for other materials online or in your library when you already have a difficult task ahead for your child.    To tackle reading, decide how many chapters should be read each day to complete the book.  Let your child know the plan. 

Our school requires the child to either answer questions in each chapter or complete some sort of activity as the book is read.  So, each time your child completes a chapter, have them answer the questions immediately or search for the answers as they read.  Never wait to answer questions or complete activities once the book is done, unless they have to write a summary (sometimes called synopsis) of the book. If you feel you must read the book with them to accomplish this, there's no harm in doing so.  However,  be helpful, not harmful. Don't do it for them.  Your goal is to get them to be more and more independent in summarizing and answering questions as the reading progresses.  You don't even have to read the book at all, actually.  Not knowing the plot will require the summaries and answers to be more of theirs, not yours.

4. SHARE THE READING!!!  It is a common misconception that parents should let their child read only independently beyond 3rd grade.  This is so completely untrue.  You could NEVER hurt your child's reading skills by reading to them.  Notice, however, that I said to share this.  I read. You read.  I read.  You read.  They should read more chapters independently than you share.  Remember, we are trying to gain independence.  Maybe you can share one chapter for every 3 they read.  You can be the judge on a suitable balance based on your child's needs.

Kids who continue to struggle with reading by this age MUST hear a good reader read often.  Specifically, they need to hear how your voice rises and falls, how you stop at punctuation marks, the tone in your voice at happy/sad times in the story, the MISTAKES you make, the times you have to reread because you didn't understand.  THIS should all be externalized during reading.  Tell them that you made a mistake or your mind was wondering, so you have to go back and reread that paragraph.  You should also STOP at times to discuss how this part of the story connects to your own lives,  to figure out a difficult word based on how it is used in the story, how I think the character feels, or what may happen next.  YES, it's MORE than okay to STOP while you read. Finally, discuss what you think a certain scene or character looks like.  Picturing the story is typically another thing they don't do while reading. {{ Note: This step is jam packed with important strategies for struggling readers.  Print this and highlight those suggestions if you need to.  It will be a giant help to your child.}}

5.  Have them read TO YOU!  This is important.  This is when you listen to what they do to hurt their comprehension.  Do this periodically, not for each chapter they read.  You don't want to discourage them.  Be positive when they read well, but stop them to discuss mistakes.  You are looking for the same things listed above when you read.  All of them are important. 
The struggling reader may: add words that don't belong, continue reading past a word that they don't understand, read words incorrectly without stopping for meaning.  These all hurt comprehension.  The biggest red flag is the kid who misreads the words and continues on without regarding the lost meaning.  This tells you they are simply reading words on the page and not "the story".  No focus.  No understanding.  Ask them to reread to gain understanding when this happens.  It should sound like, "Oh, wait a minute, I couldn't understand what happened in that part, did you?  Maybe we need to reread to understand what just happened."  NEVER, "Oh, wait, you read that part wrong.  Let's read it again."  While both sound like a kind, concerned parent, one way sounds like they are reading "wrong".  They are already insecure.  Be as positive as possible.

6. Beyond summer reading, there are ways to get your reluctant reader to continue reading.  They may have discovered a favorite author through summer reading.  Get more books like that.  Most of these kids will prefer shorter reads, not necessarily chapter books, though.  Order magazines on their reading devices or in the mail that interest them (National Geographic Kids, Sports Illustrated Kids, Boys' Life, Time for Kids, Girls Life, American Girl).  Get them online to some cool sites that these same magazines also offer.  I've discovered www.wonderopolis.com for kids.  It has a new wonder each day for the kids to read about.  You may ask your child to read about one each day and tell you about it over dinner.  It's a good way to require the extra practice without it being such a daunting task. 

It is important to know that the struggling reader lacks confidence in this area.  They typically feel that they are doing something wrong or something is wrong with them.  They often have the misconception that good readers never make mistakes or ever have to reread parts of the book.  They think good readers like every book they pick up.  You have to be supportive and help them to understand that all readers struggle at some point, all readers make mistakes, and all readers may not like a book they read at some point.  They need to find the genre that interest them most, not their friends.  Talk to them about your reading and what helps you.

Happy reading!

~ACZ


Questions regarding your child?? Want me to write about a specific topic? email me!  adriennezembower@gmail.com

She's Just a Teacher...

I am in my tenth year of teaching and nearly 40 years old.  I teach.  It was my first choice for my future for as long as I could remember, but not the path I originally followed.  If I knew you when I was 18, I had no clue what I wanted to do << I wanted to teach>>.  If you met me as a college freshman, I was switching my major from Psych to Sociology, still lost <<I wanted to teach>>.  Later, you would find I had switched to nursing, then quickly on to Speech Pathology to finish the stretch <<I still wanted to teach>>.   No one would have heard the conversations I'd had with my grandmother's sisters who were teachers so long ago that they had punished my grandmother for speaking French in their own classrooms.  When they heard I wanted to teach, I'd see a look of pride followed by a quick look of concern.  I eventually would earn my teaching certificate.

I never understood the concern until now.  I am a teacher.  It is the LEAST that I do in a day's work. I teach reading, language, and spelling.  It is known that I can teach my kids to read better, spell better, and write better.  Sometimes it feels like I am the only one trying to achieve this goal.  I (teachers everywhere) do so much more.

You may not realize that I am with your child 8 hours of the day, five days per week, 180 days of the year.  I think about them before bed and as soon as I wake up.  I worry about their struggles constantly.

In a day's work...I teach reading, language, and spelling.  I pass out band aids and ice packs daily.  I sneak your kid ibuprofen or acetaminophen when they can't get in touch with you.  I'm not supposed to.  It's against the law, but when your child is crying in pain, I can't bear it anymore than you could.  I guide them to the bathroom with bloody noses, when they may puke, when their tummy hurts, when they have a yucky rash, when their best friend just said something really mean in front of everyone, when they have anxiety attacks.  I hug them when they won 1st place over the weekend, on their birthday, when they give me a drawing, when they didn't make the team, when their grandpa died during the night, when their mom moved out of daddy's house. I buy a book sack if you can't, and I find a jacket that is the uniform standard on the sale rack.  I protect them when there is an intruder on campus, a thunderstorm,  when a tornado is nearby and we are stuck in the dark beneath our desks...and. they. are. scared.  We pray together. I pray for them when they travel for competitions and tournaments, when they are nervous about a test.  I kneel in church beside them and ask God to make me a better model for them and to help me to guide them to greatness.  When they look like they may faint, I support their limp bodies until they are safe on softer ground.  I hover near their desks and point to test items that need their attention, careful not to draw attention to what is happening.  ((Can anyone see?  Will they notice that I need help?  I don't know how to do this?))  I ask others to ask your child to play with them since he seems to have few friends.  I make them take at least 3 bites at lunchtime when they would rather just stare at the food.  I correct them.  I make them responsible.  I expect more. I expect their best.  I discipline....because I am a role model, just as you are.  I am not their parent, even if they do slip and call me "Mom" everyday.  I am their teacher.  I love my job.   I love my kids.

The ART of teaching is not taught in schools.  Teachers learn so LITTLE in school.  Today, teachers are leaving this profession in staggering numbers because of decisions our lawmakers are making, {{non-teachers}}.  Teachers are unappreciated, underpaid, doubted, questioned, held solely accountable, and pushed around.  There are so many days I find myself wishing I'd done more.  Like this isn't enough?  Do something about it.  Stand up for our educators.  They are true heroes.  Support them.

Thank a teacher.  He or she deserves it every single day. 

~ACZ

Reading...

This post is about the most important thing you will ever do for your child.

  Help them to learn to READ. 

Whether they are the oldest, only, middle, youngest of 8 kids...take the time.    There is absolutely NOTHING more important than this skill to serve them throughout their entire lives. 
It will affect them in all subjects, even math.  Math is important as well, of course, but the kid who struggles in math, only may struggle in math.  The kid who struggles in reading struggles in every.single.subject.period.  By the 3rd, and especially the 4th grade, if they are not reading on level, DO SOMETHING.  They will continue to struggle until you do.

Sounds like a lot of work, right?  It is.  No one said kids were easy.  Look at it this way, if your precious child were playing in a basketball game or dancing in a dance competition, would you dedicate the 2 hours per week plus the hours of practice to attend the event?  This is their event now...where they need you.  The quality time spent while reading together is also a great bonding time.  Schedule it, dedicate the time, and attend. If it is within your budget, find a tutor who knows what they're doing.  Schedule a couple of sessions per week.  If you can only afford once per week, you'll have to step up to the plate to fill in for the extra time required. 

If you are paying $60/hr for sports lessons per week, ditch it.  Focus on what's more important.
Sports vs. Academics. You can help your child do both responsibly and teach loads of responsibility and confidence. If your child cannot do both responsibly, choose academics. Make all decisions based on what kind of 30-year-old you want your child to be. Sports will leave your child with memories, academics will leave your child with a college degree and a future. Sounds simple? You'd think.

How to succeed:  A good starting place is to meet with your child's teacher.  Really get to know exactly what skills are troubling for him/her.  Commit yourself to the time needed to build your child's reading skills either yourself or with a tutor.  Research.  Research.  Research.

If I didn't convince you, consider your child. They spend many hours of their day hoping that no one will notice how much they struggle.  They have less confidence in the classroom, and at times they feel stupid.  They won't tell you this.  This is the side of your kid that their teacher knows.  This is the side that your teacher tries to protect throughout their day by telling them ahead of time what they may have to read, inconspicuously pointing to the right answer in the chapter when a question is asked, so no one will notice that they couldn't find it in the book by themselves.  This is the kid that spends a few extra minutes after school, when no one is around, for help.  This is the kid that gets crabby for different reasons when they are doing homework.  They are not mad at anyone.  They are trying to distract from the fact that they don't really know how to get the work done alone.  In class, they have partners, a trusted friend, clues and cues.  At home they don't have this.  It's just them and a book.  LOST!

Wake up.  Pay attention.  There is nothing more important than what your child will be at 30-years-old.  Plan for their future.  You won't get a do over.

~ACZ

I Don't Want to Label My Child

I hear you.  I get it.  We don't want our kids to grow up thinking there is something wrong with them and being treated differently for it.  It's hard just for us to accept that this baby we once dreamed big dreams for as we rocked them to sleep may have such a tough time achieving that goal.

Consider this, though...

As a teacher, a label does not put a stigma on a child in my room.  The label tells me that he may need me to visit his desk during the spelling test to make sure his d's and b's aren't backwards and his letters and words aren't all mixed up.  It may tell me that I need to sit him in the front of the classroom so that I have his attention, or the back of the classroom so he can move around a bit.  I may need to spend extra time on a writing assignment or forgive his constant use of lowercase and uppercase in all the wrong places.  The label may tell me that he REQUIRES extra time during testing, oral testing, quiet testing, small group testing. It tells me that I need to watch him on the playground to make sure he's being sociable enough, instead of closely examining each insect he finds.  He may have times that anxiety overwhelms him to the point that he can't remember the answers on the test.  I need to know that I need to be understanding.  I may need to allow him to skip every other number in a homework assignment or let you write it out for him sometimes when homework has become so difficult and overwhelming that you just want to pack all of the books and hold him.

A child without a label, under the protection of mom and dad, tells me that I am being asked to treat him like every other kid who requires none of this.  Our Special Education teacher says, "If a child needed glasses to have an even playing field as his peers, would you give him glasses?"  Of course we would.  This "label" is glasses to those kids.

A label is only a bad thing, in my opinion, when it is viewed as a negative.  When the label is actually used to label the autistic child, the Aspie kid, instead of the kid with autism or the kid with Asperger's.  A child should not be told they ARE ADHD, but that they have ADHD or anxiety.  They have dyslexia, rather than always being called dyslexic.  They should have a true understanding that none of this is a measure of their intelligence.  Their brains are wired differently (in the words of one of my favorite kids with Asperger's).  They should know that there is a way to help all of these things.  They should also be prepared to work harder than everyone else.

I feel that a parent who hides a "label" sends the message that it is something they should be ashamed of or that mom and dad may be ashamed of.  We know we could never be ashamed of our children, though.  I realize that the decision to hide the label comes from a good place of love and protection, but can be perceived as something very different by the child.  A friend of mine helped me to understand this as an adult whose label was hidden from her.  When she actually found out that she had ADHD, she was relieved.  She wasn't stupid as she thought she was for so many years.

If you are under the impression that your child goes to school and thinks he is like all of the others, think again.  Kids know.  They know they are different, and they hate it.  However, giving them the gift of understanding their diagnosis allows them to feel that they are smart enough, they just have to work harder at it. 

They HAVE TO work harder at it.  That means you do, too.  It may never get better, but when you watch him walk across the stage to receive his college diploma, you'll thank God someone told you to do it.  Help him and don't accept excuses.  Help him to meet (and maybe exceed) all expectations.  Never, by all means, express your disapproval of a teacher or homework in general in front of a child who is frustrated.  Your opinion means the most to him.  If you are negative, he will be also.  Will all teachers be fair and understanding?  No.  That's something you just have to face and deal with.  Always fight for the rights that your "label" grants your child under the Americans with Disabilities Act.  Find someone at your school who does understand and is in a position to help.  Research.  Research.  Research.

Many prayers for your journey.  I hope this helped.

~ACZ

Any questions, emails, or subjects you'd like discussed can be sent to me via email at adriennezembower@gmail.com.

Why Can't my Child Spell??

Spelling is like anything in life and every school subject there is. Some kids are born with an understanding of words and their sounds, and other kids have to work very hard to understand the relationship.

Good readers are good spellers. Why? They see the words often in the books they read, developing their vocabulary, and seeing reoccurring letter patterns over and over. They may not even be book readers, but they are readers...of cereal boxes, bill boards, signs, menus, etc. My daughter does not read many books, but she reads EVERYTHING else. She's also a good speller.

Poor spellers typically don't enjoy reading as much, if at all. If they do enjoy reading, it's usually more of a take it or leave it attitude. They don't read the cereal box in front of them; they play the game on the back. They don't read the billboards, but they may notice the art on it. They may read, but more often, they don't. Take it or leave it.

I have a BA in Speech Pathology and an Elementary Education certification for grades 1-5. The reason I had an interest in both of these things is because I was the reader in my family. My brother and sister, on the other hand, were not. I was the kid left on the bus hiding behind Charlotte's Web. My brother and sister hated reading. There was nothing fun about it. It was work and it was HARD work. It made them feel stupid when they tried because other kids could do it, but they couldn't. My sister would later be diagnosed with dyslexia in a higher grade. My brother would be diagnosed with dyslexia in 1st grade. In 1980, kids were not often diagnosed with much, but it was obvious.

Because of this huge difference between my siblings and I, it made me extra sensitive to others who struggle, and it still does today. My heart goes out to them, and I want them to be understood. The following is my theory and my theory only based on my education and experience in my classroom. This is not any scientific data, but I think I can help.

How do I help my kid learn to spell?

1. DO Know this. A poor speller does not mean a child is not intelligent. Know it, believe it, and drill it in your child's brain. It's a skill. Every kid has a weak subject. This just happens to be theirs. They can overcome it, but it takes work. Some of the smartest people I know are awful spellers.

2. DO NOT believe "Who needs to learn to spell? That's what spellcheck is for?" You have to get close for spellcheck to recognize it, and if you use a homophone spelled correctly, it will not catch it. Grammar Nazis like me will know the difference when they are an executive later in life and have to put out memos for the whole company, or worse, hand write memos for others. We want our kids to be their best. They don't get there by making excuses or being lazy. (Was that too harsh?) They also go through many years of school and college where they will be graded on such things.

3. DO NOT MAKE YOUR CHILD WRITE THEIR WORDS 5, 10, 20 TIMES EACH!! This may BE the reason they cannot spell. It is also the reason they hate spelling.

4. Do NOT call out spelling lists in the car to a struggling speller. You CAN do this to an achieved speller. The already use the strategy I will get to in a bit. Struggling spellers must ALWAYS write the word. Did I say ALWAYS? Good.

5. If your school does not already offer a list of spelling rules, find some. Our school uses the Spalding Method of writing, but there are other methods that offer the rules. Google it.
This is a link I just found for the 29 Spalding Rules. http://jensclassonline.com/index_files/Spalding.pdf. It is overwhelming at first. Don't be scared. You can do this. You already know some of them! So does your child!

6. Know the sounds that the letters make. In PreK, kids are taught that X says /ks/ and Y says /y/. Then they are taught the word "xylophone". Where's /ks/? They are taught x-ray. This X says /eks/, /not /ks/. X only says /ks/ in the final part of a syllable. The list should be "fox, box, mix". For Y they learn "yarn, yellow, yak" Those all say /y/ as they were told. Then they get in 1st grade and learn "baby, my, by" Where's /y/? Y only says /y/ in the beginning of a syllable.
THEY NEED TO KNOW UNITS OF SOUND, NOT LETTERS. Spalding uses these phonograms. Learn them in order. After # 45, it gets complicated. Learn those when they present themselves in a spelling list word.
These are the videos on you tube. There are cuter ones, but I teach 4th grade. You can google that, too. Save these on your computer desktop for easy access for your child to work alone.
Phonograms 1-26 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLSjWArTh64&feature=player_detailpage
Phonograms 27-45 http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=He2uoL_MawM
Phonograms 46-58 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXyOehXqrH4
Phonograms 59-70 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SEtJggP9P4

7. Review these cards (mastering one set at a time and only the first two sets) nightly if you have a struggling speller. Total immersion is best, not just when we feel like it. It takes very little time to review. Once your child has mastered 1-45, they can start finding them in words. These flashcards are also available in a student set for around $13, I think, at www.spalding.org. Find the "store" tab.

8. The spelling list. Your spelling lists will typically focus on a rule, like the magic e that makes the vowel say its name. Spalding lists are different, but you need to adapt this to your child's spelling lists at school. Underline silent e twice always. Spalding gets more involved in this, but you'll be fine just using this rule with your child. "If the letter does not say the sound it should make, underline it twice."

9. Help your child to mark their spelling list. Underline phonograms with more than one letter. See if there is a rule(s) that matches each week in your list. Learn the rule as it presents itself. For example if the words end in Y, there are two rules possible. Words do not end in i, so we use y. In one syllable words, Y says long /i/. If the word is more than one syllable, Y says long /e/. You will have lists with "ai" and "ay", and "oi" and "oy, etc. Mark (underline) these phonograms and any others that are more than one letter.

10. Sound out the letters as the letter "should" sound, not the way it does in speaking. For example, "vote" sounds like /v/ /o/ t/ /e/, say the e. Then read it the way we say it "vote". "Cheese" would be /ch/ /ee/ /s/ /e/ "cheese". "ee" is a phonogram. Do this nightly. Read the list once they way we write it all the way through, then read the list once just reading it normally, without sounding. The more they SEE the word, the better they know it. This takes very little time as well. If you are a last minute studier, quit reading, none of this will work. You have to be honest about the amount of effort that goes into this. It seems liks a lot at first, but soon they will do ALL of this on their own, without you.

11. Take a practice test nightly. Now, they write it. This is the more time consuming part. Now, you have to "teach" them to use the sounds to spell. You can call a word out and separate the syllables. Tell them to listen to each sound in the syllable. A syllable has one vowel sound in it. Not one vowel, one vowel sound. "Nice" has one vowel sound /i/, one syllable. Sound it for them as they should learn to sound it. Have them sound each sound out to you as they write each phonogram always. "dozen" would be "doz" "en". /d/ /o/ /z/ /e/ /n/. Sound the short e here. The more you do this with them, the more they will naturally go to that strategy during the test (and homework)

12. Be patient! They are learning. The spelling grade may slip at first, but the trade off is that they are learning to spell. After a bit, they will use the strategy more, and grades will come back up. They will not memorize words anymore, they will spell them. They will spell all other words, as well, much better because they have a strategy.

Memorizing has worked for us? Why can't I just keep doing that?
A kid who memorizes the order of letters, mixes the letters up and misses them on tests. They also can't spell that same word 2 weeks later when it's not on the spelling list. After middle school, there are no more spelling tests, and your kid still won't know how to spell. They've put a band-aid on the wound and it never fixed itself. You must plan for the future in everything. One day, they will be expected to soar. You have to give them the tools. Without the proper tools, they will not be as successful as their peers. If my child needs glasses, I get her glasses. If my child can't spell, I help them to learn how to spell. Glasses are quicker, but you get the point. I didn't say it would be easy.
Do not depend on your school. Textbooks design lists this way. They are only following what they are supposed to teach. Since most kids can memorize a list, they let them, give them spelling homework so they write them nightly, and move on to bigger and better things, like reading and math. Oh, by the way, your poor speller is also struggling in reading which is not just something they need in reading. They need it for every test they take. They can memorize answers, but if they can't read the words, they can't figure out the correct multiple choice answer. They probably bomb every math word problem, too.

My child leaves out vowels where you can clearly hear the vowel? What do I do?
YOU can clearly hear that vowel, but they do not. This is my conclusion for it. Vowel sounds are made with your mouth open. Your tongue touches nothing. In the word "cat" I hear and FEEL the sound in my mouth /k/ and /t/. The short "a" gets lost because it feels like a transition from /k/ to /t/ rather than a sound that takes up space in a word. Working on vowels is key for these kids. Pick up a game of "Vowel Bingo" They'll love it and it builds the skill very well.

My child puts random letters where they obviously do not belong in his schoolwork?
He's guessing. Pure guessing. He has too little an understanding of the letter sounds. If it's not a memorized spelling word, he cannot spell it. Sure, he makes straight A's in spelling, but his intelligence is fine, remember? He can memorize the order of the letters!

This is a seriously long post. I apologize. It was much smaller in my head.

Lesson: I have a lot to say about spelling.

~ACZ

Life lesson

My son has been playing football and baseball during the fall. This means 2 baseball practices per week, 2 football practices per week. Games start next week. His heel has been giving him trouble as boys of the this age will sometimes experience. We plan to call the doctor tomorrow to check it out. Today, when I picked him up from practice, he was not on the field. He was sitting on the sideline with a "limp". I was furious.

I know I sound heartless, but he had not limped until I told the coach he had been having pain, and he did not limp at the end of practice during field clean up. I asked about it when he got in the car, and he said the coach was not very nice. I knew what he meant. The coach was tough. In this world of "let's give everyone a trophy and call them a winner", this is the age where the athletes survive. So, it's time to make a choice. You'll suck it up and hang in there, or you'll quit...but if you quit, you can't go back. Make a decision.

Again, I know it's tough, but our kids need someone to tell them to be better than they think they can be.

It was time for the David Thibodaux talk.....

and so it goes...

My first year of college was an eye-opener. I realized that my high school education had not much prepared me for what was to come. I had Dr. Thibodaux for English 101. As most students know, you scout out your professors before scheduling, getting the low-down on the workload, testing, etc. Well, I didn't know this strategy yet. This class was tough. He graded HARD! No grammatical error slipped by him, and he had high expectations. He took no learning differences into account. He graded everyone as an equal. I worked so hard for that first-year English class. In fact, I never worked that hard in any other class for my whole college career. I hated every second of it. I had homework all the time. I could not wait until it was over.
...When it was finally over, I breathed a giant sigh of relief...and signed up to have him for English 102. Was I crazy? I just knew he had challenged me, taught me, and I wanted to know more.

You see, this man was not an ogre. He was gentle, caring, and intriguing. He had a large family, served on the Lafayette Parish school board for years as a voice for teachers fighting for smaller classroom sizes and higher teacher pay, a political activist, ran for Congress several times while I was his student (and nearly won). In fact, during one of these campaigns, his opponent claimed that Dr. Thibodaux, an author as well, had written pornographic works. In fact, it was his dissertation that had earned him tenure at UL, or something like that. This political trash talking came out days before the election and probably costed him the seat.

I learned more from 2 semesters as his student than any professor taught me. I am an English teacher today and a self-proclaimed Grammar Nazi all because of what I learned in his classroom in Griffin Hall.

Dr. Thibodaux lost his life in a motorcycle accident in 2007. It was devastating. He had so much to offer to our students and community. Today, he is still remembered as a school board member who fought for his beliefs regardless of popular vote. Today, there is David Thibodaux Magnet Academy in Lafayette. A technical school named for the late Dr. Thibodaux.

I had the honor of being his student. I am so grateful.

Lesson: When the going get tough, the tough must get going. They have to want it. They have to earn it.

When my grandmother (and best friend) was fighting cancer, I wrote a note for her and posted it by her chair, "Tough times never last, but tough people do." We read it together every day when I would visit.

God Bless!
~ACZ

The Day I Became a Better Mom

May 18, 2012 is the day I became a better Mom. This did not happen because of me or anything I did that day. It happened because God needed me to pay attention to the blessings in my life.

It was a Friday, nearing the end of baseball season. All three of my kids decided to play baseball this season. This means that each kid has 2 games per week, and maybe one practice between the bunch. Catie also takes dancing on Wednesday nights, and, of course, there’s after school tutoring that I do, homework, and studying. Needless to say, our lives, since March, have not stopped.

It all began in the school day when Abby’s homeroom teacher pulled me aside and whispered to me that Abby had been nominated by her classmates to receive the David Award. This is an award given in each homeroom at their school. It is considered the highest honor a student can receive. It has nothing to do with how smart you are or how fast you are or how popular you are. It is based on your kindness to others. It is awarded to the student who exemplifies a true Christian. The fact that it is chosen by classmates makes it even more special. When her teacher told me, I had to leave the room to hide my tears. I could not be prouder of my middle child who, at times, does not realize the person she can be in life.

After school, I rounded everyone up, beaming with my new secret, and we headed home. It was dance rehearsal night! For a 4-yr-old who attends dance from August until May, THIS is the moment she’s been waiting for all year long. The day she can put on the pretty make up and the sparkly tutu! While we got ready for the big show, my son dressed for his baseball game and he and my husband headed to the ballpark. I would have to miss this game, which I never like to do.

On the way to the dance rehearsal, we were all so excited. I was so proud, again, that my youngest child was finally reaching her long awaited goal. I was also anxious to see how much she’d learned all this time! On the way there, I received a text from my husband. “Zac is PITCHING”. ….Another dream come true. Zac had been asking me for weeks, daily, if I thought coach would ever put him pitching. I kept telling him to ask the coach, but he never would, since he gets his shyness form me. I was missing it, but still so happy to be with Catie for her big day.

Catie performed so well, I was so proud. I was now beaming with THREE major accomplishments: The David Award, the dancer dancing, and my pitcher pitching. I realized, in that moment, driving to the baseball field after dancing, that I had lost focus. Our busy lives were taking away from our family. Since that day, I am more patient, I am more understanding, I am a better mom. These are my blessings. This is my one shot. I get it, God.

Oh, and to add to my pride even more, Zac pitched a good game. When I asked him why coach finally put him in, he said, “I asked.”

Abby with her St. David medal

My pitcher pitching

My dancer after her recital

Embarrasing Mom/Teacher Mistake #3452

(post from mom blog March 2012)

This morming we arrived at school earlier than ever. Ever so proud of ourselves, we leapt out of the Expedition cheery-eyed and bushy-tailed. As we all gathered our 872 things needed for our school day, I realized Abby's booksack was missing! I looked at Abby and asked, "Abby, where is your booksack?" "I put it behind the truck this morning," she replied.........................................................................................
(Mental Note: Text Todd to retrieve book sack from driveway before the rain.)

Upon arriving into my classroom, I get a call....................from Todd...............Apparently the neighbor found Abby's book sack in the middle of the road and rang the doorbell. "Not to worry," Todd said, "they have a kid in Abby's class and will bring it with them to give to Abby."

Enter mortifying eMbArRaSsMeNt!!!! Yes, that's right, this morning I backed up feeling like I'd conquered the world since we were so early, not realizing that I was dragging my poor 8-year-old's sweet flowery blue monogrammed book sack SEVEN feet into the middle of the street. Lurching forward, oblivious to the scene I was leaving for the new neighbors to ogle over. To top it off, to my rescue comes a neighbor whom I've NEVER MET, WHOSE SON I WILL TEACH NEXT YEAR!

Unbelievable. If you need me, I'll be hiding under my desk.

**Update: Just met the Mom in the school cafeteria while she had lunch with her son. She introduced herself as the one who brought Abby's book sack to school and said it was so nice to meet me.

Shoot me.

Top Reading Mistakes

This is a list I quickly decided to put together after working with a couple of kids today. When a kid has trouble with reading comprehension, it really affects them in all subjects. Worse than that, the kid's parents have no clue how to help. For advice on that, you must read this post:

http://atozlesson.blogspot.com/2011/06/teacher-tip-reading-like-champ.html

Moving on.....

TOP REASONS YOUR KID DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY JUST READ:

1. They may not be stopping at ending marks. This makes sentences flow together in an odd sort of way. The meaing of the sentences are lost.

2. They make mistakes in reading and do not go back to correct what they read. When a child does this, they are not paying attention to the story, but sounding out the words...again, losing meaning.

3. They do not understand the vocabulary. The struggling reader will simply continue, hoping to get the meaning figured out. They typically do not. They passed up the sentence or two that would've helped.

4. They do not ever reread. If they do not understand what they read, or forgot, or was daydreaming while reading, they continue. They think that it will show their struggle if they have to read it again. When I tell a struggling reader that I have to read things more than once all the time, they are shocked. Their eyes actually get wide. They have no clue that successful readers reread and poor readers do not.

5. They do not envision what they read. I always thought this was a natural thing until my husband and a couple of friends said to me, "I don't see the movie in my head when I read" Gasp! Use art to help this skill. Have them draw their favorite scene and tell you about it. They are retelling the story when they do.

6. They are reading above their level. My daughter is notorious for this. She wants to read what her brother is reading. They are too hard. This causes frustration and eventual disinterest, causing them to think all reading stinks....and giving up.

7. They have not found a genre or author they enjoy. A dyslexic student came to me this week and said, "Hey! Mrs. Adrienne, I hate to read, but this book is so good! I can't put it down!" I quickly had him write down the series and the author encouraging him to find more books by him. He got in trouble for reading during class today:)

8. They do not find out anything about the book before reading. Have them read the back cover. If they do not, they spend the first few chapters distracted until they find out what is really going on here.

9. They are still learning how to read. In this case, read with them. Listen to how they read, and read to them in a way that fixes those mistakes, exaggerating your pause at a comma, the stop at an ending mark, the excitement with an exclamation, and the sadness the character may feel.

...and # 10~ Well, you'd have to read another post for #10. Here's the link.
http://atozlesson.blogspot.com/2011/01/teacher-tip-getting-that-dang-straw.html

God Bless!

ACZ

First Day of School

(Post from my mom blog, Summertime 2011)

First day of school today....whew. If you think the first day of school wipes the kids out, you should meet the teachers at the end of the day. My legs are threatening to give out on me without any notice, my feet hurt from my shins to my pedicure deprived toes, and all I want to do is go to bed. If anyone stops by to hand out Mom of the Year trophy today, they would probably leave laughing.
I need eggs, wheat bread, apple juice, and turkey. It can wait. I'll have to be creative for lunch tomorrow. The only thing that would get me to the store would be if coffee or wine was on that list. It is not. I'm safe.

My kids asked for McFlurries after school. I stopped to get those after realizing my purse was left at school and I had to go all the way back there, through road construction, and BACK to the drive thru window I HAD JUST LEFT as they snored in the backseat. While there, I decided I may as well get dinner (since Todd is out of town on the worst night to be out of town). We are home now. They have just eaten their McFlurries and dinner all at the same time. Normally, I would die before that would happen. Not tonight. Just give me a bed.

Currently, the only words coming out of my mouth are, "Maybe you should get ready for bed." This would be in response to "Mom, I'm tired"; "Mom, my tummy hurts" (that's what we get for eating dessert with our fast food meal); "Mom, we are out of apple juice." ; "Mommy, Zac hit me." ; and "Mom, I need socks for tomorrow." To ALL of this, I say, "Maybe you should just get ready for bed."

The dog is pacing since no one in this house will walk him. My kids are arguing. The house is a mess. My laundry room suddenly needs attention that it will not get. There are dishes in the sink.


.....I just want to sit......rest.....sleep. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Lesson learned: I will never be fully prepared for the first day of school.


~ACZ

Reading Like a Champ!

(A post from my mom blog, Summertime 2011)

It's summertime! The time when the kids can sleep late, play on the Wii until they start bouncing around like Mario and Luigi, eat enough to feed third world countries, and annoy the living heck out of each other. In all of this madness, we, the well-meaning moms, are just mean enough to require them to fit in some quality reading time. My kids must be mutants because they love reading time. In all fairness, I taught reading to 2nd grade for quite a few years and know all the tricks to make this happen. They also come from me, the nerd who once missed her bus-stop and traveled to the next little town because I was enthralled in a good book (Charlotte's Web). I thought you might like to know some tricks.

This blog is geared more toward the child who needs a little more help in their reading comprehension. If your child comprehends just fine and soars as a reader, all you need is to share the reading time with them. Read with them. For example, Mr. Popper's Penguin will be in theatres this month. We all read this story together last week. My oldest whizzed through it alone, but my 7-year-old preferred that I read it with her. They had fun, and we can't wait for the movie.

Now, for the tips.

1. Find what they like.
Go to the library and see what genre they like best, or find an author they like. Girls tend to like fiction more, boys tend to like non-fiction more. If they don't like their book, let them get another. They need to know that people don't always like every book they pick up, and that's okay. They think that THEY don't like the book because they don't like to read. (Books they could later watch as movies are great.)

2. Read with them.
If your child is of elementary age, they are never to old to be read to, especially if they are struggling. You CAN read with your fourth grader. It's called shared reading. You read, I read, you read, I read. Take turns. They love the attention, and it helps when they hear a good reader read. Remember to use expression. (If you're going to fly through a book devoiding it of all meaning, don't waste your time...sorry so harsh)

3. Mess up.
While sharing, make it a point, as the more efficient reader, to mess up, catch your mistake go back and reread. Kids who struggle think that good readers don't mess up. Tell them there are times you read a whole page and have to reread. They think that doesn't happen, too.
(Struggling readers will read, mess up, and not reread, making the story impossible to understand. They may not even realize they skipped 2 lines because they are only reading words and not a story. When your child finally stops and rereads, it is a milestone. Acknowledge it, but be cool about it.)

4. Make it real
If the story is about a dog who eats a slipper, talk about the time your dog did something he shouldn't have. Relating the story to real-life helps them to remember it. It's okay to talk about something else while you're reading, and go back to the story.

5. Ask questions at opportune times (when you're not stopping the flow of the story).
This is the most important one. Never ask any question that can be answered with yes or no. Ask questions that require thought and were not stated by the author. How do you think that made him feel? Why do you think her friend is so angry? What do you think she should do next? Do you think she will do that next? Why do you think he wants to go there so badly? How do you know? What would you do if it were you?
These go along with the skill of drawing conclusions and inferencing (figuring out things that the author meant but didn't say). These are the skills that kids struggle the most with. Think of when you go see a movie. As the plot unfolds you try to guess what will happen next, you feel what the characters feel, you try to guess the ending. Bring those questions to the story being read.

I guess that's all I have for now. I could go on and on, but these are the most important. So, Go!...read...get out of this heat. :)

~ACZ

(((LoVe NoTe)))

A love note I received from a student at the end of the year :) It's love....

~ACZ

P.S. Excellent grammar, too! 

Blessings (update)

So, I blogged about those wonderful kids I teach a few days ago, and the love, acceptance, and guidance they've shown to one of our kids who have special needs (Asperger's Syndrome). The birthday party invitations that Ben handed out remained in high demand all week long. Ben began just giving verbal invites to anyone and everyone who asked :)

Today was the party. 30-35 of his classmates showed up. He received tons of gifts and tons of cash and gift cards.

If you're a mom, you know that 10-12 is a fantastic showing for birthday guests. It just goes to show you that a little education and understanding of our differences goes a long way. Ben does not realize how significant today was, but his family does. Today he felt like one of the kids. Accepted. Not different.

Help our kids to accept one another. Teach your kids about the others out there.

~ACZ

Lesson: taught




Happy Birthday, Ben!

Pinata!

Twister with friends:)



Water balloon fights!!

You can also read Ben's mom's blog with this link. http://chroniclesofanaspiemom.blogspot.com/

VoTe for my blog top right.

Blessings

(Post from original mom blog I also have from April 2011)

Last night I had the privilege of being part of an evening of reflection for our school staff. Many parts of this evening were touching and eye-opening, but one particular part of the evening stood out for me because it's something I think of often.

In discussing different ways that we encounter our faith, I began thinking of my students and all of the different ways I see God in them. As each of these kids walk in my door each day, I realize over and over again how different they all are, and how many different things they need from me. I'm not sure if all teachers see this so blatantly, or if God has just given me a gift to see it more clearly. I see it, I feel for them, and I adapt and adjust to what they need. Plain and simple: I do this solely because if it were my child who needed something from his teacher each day, I'd hope he was respected and understood enough to receive it. I am so thankful for this gift that I've been given, and I hope I use it to the best of my ability.

This year, my mix of kids is interesting, varied, and exercising that gift all day long. One of them, in particular, has Asperger's Syndrome. He has been in school with the same kids in this sweet, private school since pre-K. The kids know he's different. It's obvious. That's about all they knew until this year. This year, their eyes have been opened to understand, support, and encourage those who are "differently-abled" as his mom prefers him to be described. At the beginning of the year, I saw kids who just shrugged at his quirkiness, still being respectful, but not understanding all the time. These are 4th graders. They are certainly old enough to understand. We decided to educate them about their classmate. One day, when he had a doctor's appointment, we gathered all 64 of our kids. I presented a slide show about Asperger's Syndrome (but this kid in particular).

He's super smart, makes fantastic grades on the same exact tests, not modified. {{Really? I didn't think he knew much of anything.}}. His writing is illegible because of his dysgraphia. {{Oh...that's why he uses the computer for some lessons. I get it.}} He thinks you are all his best friends, and he thinks he's playing with you when he is just running alongside your game. {{He does that? I never noticed?}} His hands don't work as well as yours do. He can't get the words out of his brain like you can. His BRAIN IS ACTUALLY DIFFERENT THAN YOURS. He's not contagious. He's not upset because of any of these differences. He's just different. We're all different. He is expected to perform the same daily tasks and follow the same school rules. We can help him to feel like a part of our class, instead of an outsider. {{How can I help?}}

From then on, the kids have made a daily effort to help, encourage, guide, and befriend our friend. Even more than that, they've transferred that acceptance to others who are "differently-abled". Today was our boy's birthday. When he walked into the door, I simply told him happy birthday. He said, "Oh! You remembered!" After that, with no prompting from me, the entire class erupted in a wonderfully loud "Happy Birthday To You" song {{tears!}}. He was thrilled, but quickly moved on to pass out invitations to his party. He was given 24 invites just for homeroom. Not enough. The kids who did not get one (in other classes) were asking for one.

I am so proud of the change that took place in these kids this year, and I hope they keep and use the gift. If you haven't ever explained another child's differences to your children, take the time to do it. They will understand. If you don't know enough to explain it, look it up together. Learn together. God could have chosen to give any one of us a child with special needs. Take the time to understand. It can make your child a much more understanding child on the playground. We're all different. God wanted it that way. We're all differently-abled:)

~ACZ

Getting That Dang Straw Into the Capri Sun is a Skill!!

This is a blog I post and repost for parents all the time because I believe it is something teachers see all the time, but parents don't have a clue that it exists.  I hope it helps.

I was teaching first grade and had a student who struggled in her independent work, but seemed to know it during whole group lessons.

There were small clues of the culprit throughout the year: She couldn't do a lot of things the other kids could, like opening her chip bags, getting a straw in the Capri Sun, organizing her desk. But the biggest red flag was when she needed to open the flip-top on the ketchup bottle. "Mrs. Adrienne, could you open this for me?" I couldn't believe that she had never had to open a ketchup bottle before in her life???

Then, we had our Christmas party. All of the moms were invited. Well, it all became clear as her mom began opening all of the Capri Suns, putting napkins on laps, opening chip bags, etc. When there were no more bags to open, she began emptying and cleaning out her daughter's desk. She was left with an immaculately clean work area. You get the point. This little girl seemed oblivious to anything going on around her that may require any effort. She was completely taken care of by her wonderful, but well-meaning, mom. She was a wonderfully sweet lady who adored her children.

The Lesson: Kids who are never allowed to problem solve will not be successful problem solvers in the classroom either. Math requires problem solving, of course. However, this is also a key skill for reading comprehension (figuring out why and how something happened even if the author did not clearly state it.) This skill carries into Science, Social Studies, and every other subject learned in school.

Problem solving is a skill that we must teach our kids to ensure their success. I teach 4th grade now, and I guarantee you that my most successful kids in the classroom are also my best problem solvers. This skill comes easily to some, but not so much to others. Of course, there are the kids with developmental delays, and this post does not include that group of kids. Some of our kids will struggle, and that's okay. But, even those kids will benefit from learning independence.

When we don't teach our kids to figure out things on their own, we are handicapping them. When teachers are taught how to teach, they are taught to include "HOT" or Higher Order Thinking in every lesson. These are those questions that you have to think of the how and why. You cannot answer yes or no to them. These are the hard questions on tests that some may perceive as tricky (those meanies). They really only require extra thinking to figure out.

Now, when a student comes to me b/c they can't open a piece of candy, I refuse to open it. Not because I'm a meanie, but because I am 100% positive that if the kid really wants the candy (and she does), he/she will figure out how to open that wrapper. If I really get my way, they will also teach the next kid on the playground how to do it.

So, do your kid a favor today. Refuse to do something for them that you know they can do. Let them open their own Capri Sun.

~ACZ